The Lover's Arithmetic

The Lover’s Arithmetic
Song VI of ‘Love Songs for Springtime’
Text: Traditional English
Music: Paul Halley
 

In love to be sure what disasters we meet,
What torment, what grief and vexation;
I’ve crosses encountered my hopes to defeat,
Will scarcely admit numeration.

I courted a maid, and I called her divine,
And I begged she would change her condition;
For I thought that her fortune united with mine,
Would make a most handsome addition.

Heigh-o, dot and go one, Fal lal de ral do ra.

When married, a plaguy subtraction I found,
Her debts wanted much liquidation;
And we couldn’t, so badly our wishes were crowned,
Get forward in multiplication.

Division in wedlock is common they say,
And both being fond of the suction;
I very soon had to exclaim, “Lack-a-day!
My fortune’s gone into reduction.”

Heigh-o, dot and go one, Fal lal de ral do ra.
 

The rules of proportion Dame Nature forgot
When my Deary she formed, so the fact is,
And she had a tongue to embitter my lot,
Which she never could keep out of practice.

One day after breaking my head with a stool,
Said I, “Ma’am, if these are your actions,
I’m off; for you know I’ve been so long at school
I don’t want to learn vulgar fractions.”

Heigh-o, dot and go one, Fal lal de ral do ra.